‘I Love The Press™!’ Donald Trump Endorses Popular Panini Maker

In a long-winded Twitter rant, President Donald Trump said that he endorses The Press™, a low-cost panini maker available across America.

Trump’s endorsement of the product coincides with the passing of H.R. 700, a bill that will lower tax rates for companies that manufacture household grilling products. A recent review of Trump’s financial statements revealed that he owns significant shares in PRESTO, the Michigan-based company that manufactures The Press™. It seems that Trump has chosen to publicly endorse a product in which he owns stock.

Some savvy pundits think that Trump’s holdings in the company, combined with his executive power, create an ethical dilemma.

But in a recent interview on CNN, conservative motor-mouth Bobby Whittaker said otherwise.

“It’s pretty obvious what Donald Trump is doing. It’s not rocket science. He’s trying to bring Americans a more wholesome, delicious, perfectly grilled lunch-time experience,” said Whittaker. “It would be un-American to say otherwise.”

Bobby CNN
Bobby Whittaker in a recent appearance on CNN. (Art by Neil Hamel)

Then Whittaker gave a quick demo on how to use the griller, and served up some delicious chicken sandwiches to a delighted panel of talking heads. (It looked really easy to use, exactly like something I could use in the morning to make breakfast sandwiches for my kids, or a yummy lunch-time BLT for the wife.) He finished the segment by begging people to follow him on Twitter, then shouted that “the libtards don’t eat sandwiches like this!”

Trump has been critical of The Press™ in the past, so his recent endorsement of the product comes as somewhat of a surprise. For example, check out this Tweet from late August.

But Trump tried to cover his tracks in the latest Twitter tirade, claiming that he’s never made critical comments about the panini maker.

When asked about Trump’s contradictory Tweets, Prof. Anna Nobel, who teaches media theory at New York University, said that the media isn’t obligated to write about Trump’s tweets. Instead, they should ignore the ones that seem like deliberate attempts to troll, and by continuing to publish Trump’s reckless quotes, they’re complicit in his fear-mongering.

“The problem is that media companies take Trump’s statements at face value, even when they know he’s just Tweeting to grab attention. The more ridiculous the headline, the more traffic they get on their website, so they have a vested interest in presenting his most absurd comments, even when he’s deliberately trolling,” she said.

“If they want to suppress Trump’s message, ignore his ridiculous Tweets. But instead, they proliferate his foolish opinions until they become a topic of discussion on television. Then, under the guise of good-natured political activism, commentators like Bobby Whittaker offer polarizing, often boisterous opinions to enlarge their online following. It’s all just shameless promotion.”

Anyway, you can purchase The Press™ at the following link: Great Deal! If you click right now, you can get %75 off on a product that will change your life.


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